To you who are grieving for a loved one losing the battle with life.
And are at that place where it all seems inevitable.
Never give up, never say surrender
For there is always hope and miracles do happen
With your life on hold, nothing else seems to matter
for your sadness and pain, they are real, and everyone can see.
It is a challenging time, and no one truly knows how you feel
But when a chapter of your life is closing, if you get the chance
savour every last moment, grab hold and treasure it.
Hold your loved ones every moment as if it’s the last, do and say the things you need to.
In those precious moments, let them see only love in your eyes
Let no tears, sadness or anger invade
For tomorrow you can grieve.
It is not an easy path but let love guide you down the road.
In times like this, there should be no pretence
Let there be no regrets of what should have been said and done.
Tomorrow there will be only memories of how special those last moments were.
Right now, this moment is real. This moment is what you have.
Don’t make it about you, you are not losing the battle they are
Let it all be about them, and every day for them.
In the hustle and bustle of life, we seldom recognise
The people in our midst, they are like angels in disguise
The ones who make a sacrifice, that to you may seem small
In the realms of love and service, they are giving their all
You never need to impress them, they can see the real you
Behind the masks you wear, games you play, the things you do
They only see your beauty and light, and the good that you impart
They see beyond the skin you wear, they look inside your heart
Their kind words and special hello, gets lost in all the chatter
Their smile and presence at your side, never really did matter
Defending your honour when others are cruel and will despise
Speak of your truth with dignity and crushing those bitter lies
A true friend is sometimes revealed, when the going gets rough
Those times when you feel alone, when you don’t feel you’re enough
A true friend reminds you of your strength, they will be your mirror
They won’t soften life’s blows on you, but they will be your anchor
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These hands you see looking wrinkled and old, are the scars of love and mercy untold
The countless hours that they have spent, washing bodies bleeding, broken and bent
Gently reaching inside to mend you like new, yet strong enough to carry you
These eyes are no ordinary eyes you see, they’ve wept tears enough to fill the seas
They’ve seen things they wish they had not, painful to remember but forget they cannot.
These eyes full of love will hold your gaze, when you need honesty and not idle praise
They hold no scorn or judgement within, they don’t care who you are or where you’ve been.
This voice so calm and filled with compassion, is as sure as the rising and setting of the sun
This voice knows what to say how and when as you expect, always the truth with clarity and respect
This voice can turn gloom or a frown into a smile, a bit of laughter is good if only for awhile
This voice filled with hope and sincerity for you, calms your fears and comforts your heart too.
These feet walk many miles every day, and at night too checking as you lay.
These feet are up and running with every sound, reaching before you hit the ground
These feet spend hours at your bedside, standing as family cried the night you died.
These feet came to meet you so very unwell, the same feet walked with you as you bid farewell.
This soul is a soul true and strong, filled with purpose knowing where it belong
This soul faces every day with courage, fighting back the tears in the midst of carnage
This souls love for life is full of passion, will fight for life until another battle is won
This soul that I speak of needs no name, it’s an unsung hero that claims no fame…….
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‘Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing, sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming, all we can do is learn to swim.’ Beautifully interpreted by Vicki Harrison.
Grief is described in the Collins English Dictionary as something that causes deep or intense sorrow, distress and suffering; especially at the death of someone.
We mostly associate grief with the loss or death of a close friend, a loved one or a family member. But leaving home for the first time or relocating at a distance can also cause grief. When we or someone we love suffer terrible illness or loss of health we grieve. Moving to a new home may be felt as a loss, especially if you have lived in your old home all your life. The death of a pet; changing jobs; graduation; loss of physical ability or loss of financial security.
Most of us may never go through all the symptoms of grief, yet for some it can be a long and painful process.
David Kessler(Kessler, 2016), suggests that the five stages of loss is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, if used as a part of the grieving process, could help in identifying with feelings of loss, and eventually the ability to cope.
So how did it happen for you? Can you remember? It’s not something you forget.
Maybe it was your parent, a friend, or God forbid, your child. Was it a phone call in the middle of the night from the hospital your loved one was admitted, asking you to come in? They wouldn’t say why.
You put the phone down, paralysed at the spot, thoughts racing. This is it, isn’t it? Otherwise they wouldn’t call at this time, maybe he’s just taken a turn for the worse and they want you there just in case. You forgot about elegance, chic or style and dragged on the nearest piece of garment, keys in hand you ran out the door.
You were met on the ward by the nurse and taken to a room and asked if you would like some water. Sitting across from you, the Nurse looked at you with genuine sadness in her eyes, then said ‘‘I’m so sorry, but he’s passed away”. You sat there looking down at your bed slippers. The room suddenly seemed empty.
Or was it that dreaded appointment with the doctor. They were overly polite so straight away you knew something wasn’t right, then the outspoken no nonsense doctor just said it ‘I’m sorry it’s not good, you’ve got Cancer”. You had stared in disbelief for a while, then said “are you sure?”
You imagined it was a mistake, and they’d soon realise the mix-up. Did you put on a brave face “ok, so what now?” Maybe you broke down crying. Maybe you just sat there.
Did you lose your home and had to pack your life in boxes? Maybe lived out of your car. How many of us can imagine cramming our family in a tiny rented accommodation, because it’s all we can afford. You knew it was going to happen and you had tried everything now there was nothing more you could do.
Was it your job? Did your boss inform you they were letting you go? Maybe you just got married with a baby on the way, maybe you had started the renovations and decorating. You needed that job more than anything.
Not in love with you anymore? That totally unexpected conversation that started something like this, “I’ve been trying to find the right way to tell you, but I’m leaving you.” “What?” you said. You didn’t see it coming, but then you realised why the delays on plans for the holiday. “I don’t understand you made love to me this morning” you responded. You tried to get answers but it was of no use. “I’m sorry It’s over, I’m just not happy.” You felt sick.
It is not uncommon in situations like these, to try to deny they are even real, the shock is sometimes too much, too painful.
But when reality sets in you cannot hide, and facing it is hard. So you get angry, at anyone, anything, yourself, even those you are grieving for.
You may even begin to bargain with God or the Universe, making promises of faith, dedication, and devotion. You may start thinking ‘maybe if’ or ‘what if’ but none of that will matter.
As the sadness, the memories and the emptiness overwhelm you, you may sink into that deep dark place where lost souls venture to seek solace, as depression sets in. It may seem like no-one and nothing can help you.
Alone you will face the darkness, the pain, for it is here you face the emotions and delve into the feelings…..digging deep until finally you accept that what has happened is real but your feelings are not, they are just feelings, energy.
The memories you are storing are based on that one moment in time, and each time you recall that moment of your loss, you will grieve all over again; the same feelings associated with those memories will return. There is no joy in a life recalling pain. Your pain caused by grief is from your feelings, and feeling are formed from memories.
You grieve because you have lost someone or something you cared for deeply and you will never be the same. Your grief may be out of fear, of insecurity, out of shame. You grieve because that which made you happy has been taken away.
Do not let something so precious and sacred, with memories of happiness and beauty be remembered with pain. It is possible to live with happy memories after a loss, but you need to choose it.
Choose to remember with a smile the happy times, remember with love, for with happiness and love pain cannot permeate.
Learn to accept your loss and learn to love yourself again, for when you love yourself you do what is best for you. Love yourself completely so when your eyes open, you will see friends and family all around.
You are not the same, for as you rewrite the memories one day at a time, with happy ones it’s a new beginning. For you…….. the pain is gone.
Kessler, D. (2016) Re: The 5 stages of Grief. Retrieved from http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/–
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When you love some-one and they leave, it’s a chance for you to start again.
What-ever you are feeling now, leave it in the past and focus on today.
Your past choices will not define you or your life today
You don’t need to explain or justify to people who don’t really care
So ignore whispers and chatter from shameful lips
And bless be the hearts that offer love and support
With head held high, stand tall and walk into tomorrow
Know that the hurt you are feeling will pass
Trust that the sun will shine and that brighter days are ahead
Photos courtesy of Stuart Miles, copyright Free Range Stock, http://www.freerangestock.com
Whatever obstacles you face in life, face it with a grateful heart
As you grieve over your losses, remember with a grateful heart
You may be heartbroken and hurting, love with a grateful heart
Feeling alone and rejected, find comfort in a grateful heart
For happiness, love, healing, and peace will always find their way to a grateful heart
Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles and copyright Free Range Stock, www.freerangestock.com
Many celebrated Mother’s day last weekend.
I enjoyed seeing the poems the flowers the messages of love pouring out all over the internet.
I appreciated the ones I received and especially the one from my daughter.
Why do we celebrate? I imagine everyone has a different reason as to why they do, but for me it’s simple. Celebrating is a way of expressing gratitude and to say thanks for the happiness and meaning someone, something or a moment brings to your life
.We celebrate with gifts, words, food, music, drinks, dance.
We celebrate life love success securities
Not everyone join in celebrations, and some of us are becoming more and more aware of the growing expectations that they can bring, as some celebrations call for spending a little more and giving a little more than kind words or well wishes.
We each have a personal responsibility in the way we respond to celebrations. It is no one’s fault if we overspend or indulge in ways we should not. We should be true to ourselves first in all situations.
If you choose to give much or give little, give it with love because that is the real purpose of celebrating.
Some of us may have lost our way when it comes to gifts, but it is never too late for us to think again about the reason for giving.
I speak of no particular celebration when I say all that matters is the feeling of togetherness and love that comes from it. People are happier, families closer, there is a sense of excitement in the air, powerful words of kindness, trust, hope, inspiration, peace, togetherness and acceptance fills the air
Can we find something to celebrate about every day? I KNOW WE CAN!
Baby gift boxes, Dream-House, Party celebration, birthday copy space gifts boxes, and leaping duo- Photos courtesy of Stuart Miles and copyright Free Range Stock, www.freerangestock.com
‘Graduation’ Photo courtesy of Geoffrey Whiteway and copyright Free Range Stock, www.freerangestock.com
Glasses -Photo courtesy of Splitshire and copyright Free Range Stock, www.freerangestock.com
Diamond Ring-Photo courtesy of copyright Free Range Stock Archive, www.freerangestock.com
Today I have awoken with such an intense sense of gratitude and happiness. I try to be thankful for all things in my life but all days are never the same.
I realise though that the more I evolve and grow to know myself, the more I learn to love and appreciate myself.
I know the path to happiness and a life of prosperity is within me, and if I love myself and am happy with me the world is a wonderful place.
I am grateful for the love and friendships I have for they give me strength.
I am grateful for the challenges for I know they are opportunities for me to discover myself, so I welcome them.
Today I am crying, not because I am sad, but because I feel such joy that I can hardly contain it.
My truth today is -The world is a wonderful and beautiful place and I am honoured to be a part of it.
Today I share this powerful feeling with everyone in the universe who seek love, for today we are one.
(Photos courtesy of Stuart Miles and copyright Free Range Stock, www.freerangestock.com)