What do you do, what can you do, when your everything seems never enough?
Have you ever tried to get along with someone, but the more you try, the more they seem to resent you? You work your hardest, you do your best, yet you always get overlooked for that promotion. I could give many other examples of feeling ‘never enough,’ but you know what I mean.
Stop thinking it’s your fault—any of it. Stop trying to ‘fix’ it or ‘fix’ yourself. Some people will dislike you, no matter how ‘nice’ you are or how ‘good’ you are at what you do.
The only person who will love you unconditionally and whom you can trust 100% is you (and it should be). So ask yourself: who decided that one of the conditions of your life was to live up to the expectations of others? How do you decide whom to please? Would you go around asking what aspects of you are not meeting others’ expected standards? Of course not.
The Serenity Prayer, written by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971), says it well:
”God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Accept that when you’ve done your best, it should be enough. Have the courage to step away from resentment and accept it may never change. Know that change comes from within, and only you decide.
Change comes from a place of strength, determination, belief, truth, and love. It is easy to love those who love us. The hardest love to give is to those who despise us, but we need to do it for ourselves, not for them. When we hold on to feelings brought about by the anger and hate of others, it makes them strong and us weak. We make them an important part of our lives, dominating our mind and actions. Why would you want that? I don’t—especially as they mean nothing to them.
I was in my late 20s when I stumbled upon a book by the wonderful Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life. If I took nothing else from it, it was the words ”I love and accept you completely.”
I said this about people who challenged me, disrespected me, or seemed to put obstacles in my way. I said it when I thought of how they treated me, how they made me feel. I said it when I saw them. I used their name: ”I love and accept [Name] completely,” just the way Louise Hay taught.
Believe me when I say, it was more than a miracle. The obstacles were gone, people became ‘nice,’ some friendly, and some are still in contact with me. I don’t know how, and I never wondered how. Maybe it was because I had the belief and needed something to work.
I do know that I freed myself from the negative thoughts I felt they had about me. I no longer held those thoughts in my mind when I saw them. I learned to accept them as they were. I didn’t need to like them either. But their feelings for me were no longer my problem.
The hardest thing to do is to love your enemy. You don’t need to tell them; just tell your heart.